What are the goofy nicknames you have for your pet? Bonus points for sharing a picture of him/her.
Submitted by Papi Chulo.
Well, first there was Kyna (pronounced KEE-na). She is sometimes referred to as Kynalicious or Bitch.
Then there is Spooky is sometimes referred to as Spook-a-dook or Spooks.
....maybe. I am thinking of quitting my Passion Parties business. While I know it has the potential to make me lots of money, I think it is just not for me. This decision has come after hearing about another woman that does Passion Parties as a side job. She was immediately fired from her full time job, because of her association with Passion Parties. She never did any emailing, phone calling, advertising, or talking about Passion Parties at her job (HR for the county), but someone called up her boss and he fired her on the spot, no questions asked, no discussion. With my interest being more in teaching and education, I am now more nervous about the conflicting issues between doing Passion Parties and being a teacher. Also, with all my master's classes and with trying to get a teaching job (and then hopefully getting that teaching job), I just do not have the time or effort to spend on Passion Parties. Along with that, the money just isn't there. I know that I don't have to be putting so much money into it, but I have already. I do not regret doing Passion Parties, perhaps just another time in my life...i dont know. Also, what I thought all along is true: I am just not a sales person. I was hesitant at first to even do Passion Parties but my friend told me that you don't have to be a sales person to do Passion Parties, that the toys sell themselves. Well, that doesn't work for me. I don't make any money when I do Passion Parties. So I think I am done. I think I will just let my time expire and then it will all be over. I just don't know what to do with all the products and toys I do have. I don't want to keep them all for myself. The ones I did want for myself are ones that I do not have. I don't know. So in case you missed it, this is why I am choosing to end my Passion Parties business:
- fear of having teaching and Passion Parties conflict which could result in me never getting a teaching career, or losing my teaching career
- it is not my true interest, where as teaching is
- i do not have the extra effort for it
- i do not have the extra time for it
- i do not have the extra money for it
now, what to do with all the products and toys that I have......
my name is shannon and I
have a lot going on in my life. I have control, but I also wish I had more
control. I do not like when I am not in control of what it going on in my life.
Sometimes it makes life frustrating and sometimes it makes life fun and
interesting. Surprises are okay, but not bad news surprises. Only happy ones. I
have been so busy lately and luckily it has kept me from thinking about all the
horrible things in my life. Like the fact that I have no friends, no one to
ponder life with, no one to vent to, no one to hate life with, no one to enjoy
life with. I have so many things that I am focusing on, that I just wake up
everyday hoping that I don’t lose control. Just keeping swimming, just keep
swimming. That’s a quote from Dory from Finding Nemo. Gotta love when kids’
movies can be used for adult life. I am determined to get what I want out of
life. I am determined to make sure that I don’t lose control. I have a feeling
this summer is going to be crazy, and that I will get frustrated a lot.
However, I would rather be productive, then not productive. Last summer and
most of last year was very depressing and unproductive for me. I feel better
knowing that my time is being spent doing something worthwhile, and not spent
wallowing and feeling sorry for myself. I still do not like that I wasted so
much time being depressed and unproductive, but I learned from it. I am still
learning to be more appreciative and positive, all in order to achieve that
happiness in life that I desire. Here’s what I am feeling right now:
“good things happen to those who wait”
“those who wait, appreciate”
“what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”
“everything happens for a reason.”
I could update on everything that has been going. So heres a quick run down.
I have four more day of Extending Learning. I have been told that my the position is mine for this coming school year, even though they are aware I want a full time teaching position. I am to just let them know ASAP if I do get a position so that they can begin searching for a replacement for me. So it is good to know they understand where I am coming from, but at the same time are keeping the position open for me in case I do not get a position by next year.
I have started my 3 master’s summer classes. They are going to be intense, frustrating, but interesting and worthwhile. I just have to remember the end goal: getting a M.Ed. How exciting! Not many people can say they got a BA at 21 and a M.Ed at 23!
I will be starting a summer camp counselor position. Something I have always wanted to do, but now I hope it’s not more work then I thought it was. The employee hand book makes it sound like lots of planning and making sure the kids are always doing something fun at any given moment. I have never been to camp and never really seen what camp is like. I have more of a teacher/education background. Which obviously will be helpful, but I just hope I can make every moment of every day fun for these kids!
Amongst all this, I am will be attempting to get a teaching postion by attending job fairs and emailing/mailing my resume to principals. With budget cuts, school closing, and job losses, I feel like I am getting screwed over yet again, but I am also determined. I really don’t want to be just an hourly tutor again. I want to be a classroom teacher, a full time position that really uses my degree (and also includes much need benefits!).
That’s my life at the current moment ya’ll.
I’ll update when I can!
ps..i have realized that i start a lot of blogs by saying/stating "my name is shannon" i have been pondering why it is i do this, or feel the need to do this. I think it is because i need to state my name in order to remember who i am. Isn't that silly? But sometimes I think we forget who we are and we need to be reminded. I have no one to help me remember who I am, so I have to do it myself.
my name is shannon.
I am thinking no, I am not girlfriend material. I have confidence, but sometimes I don't. And this might be one of those times. I have been pondering why I am single and why I continue to be single, and it is about me that makes me unattractive (not in looks, but in general) to the opposite sex, so much so that I am still single. I have decided it is my lifestyle that makes me single:
- I am short and do not look my age, so guys assume that I am UNDERAGE and might be a) immature or b) statutory rape.
- I have not had sex, so guys assume I must not have any knowledge of enjoying any kinds of sexual activities and I must never have kissed a guy, given and received oral sex, and done other kinds of fore play activities, or owned and used toys (in other words I must be a sheltered prude).
- I am not into fashion, makeup, and appearances. I don't go out of my way to make myself get all dolled up. I find that being fake, and therefore I would be hiding who I really am. Here's what I think: I don't think I am ugly, but I know that I am not all that attractive, so why should I be fake about it to then later disappoint people?
- My lifestyle prohibits me from meeting the opposite sex. I work at an elementary school with teachers that are female and are 30 or older with husbands and young kids. I am working on my masters, where my peers are also teachers and 30 or older with husbands and young kids.
- I am so poor that I cannot afford to go out and meet people. I cannot join a gym. I can not go to anything that requires money to get in, or sign up.
- I have no passion or hobbies. Most passions and hobbies cost money, and I have never been found something that I am passionate enough about to continue to spend money on it. Therefor I can find people that are interested in the same things as me.
So there ya have it. The opportunity to even meet people isn't there. I am confident and outgoing and social, but when the opportunity isn't there, then I can't meet people. Or if people do happen to approach me (after seeing that I look 8 years young and that I am extremely short) they soon find out that I have no interests and that I have never had sex. My appearance and my lifestyle are unattractive to the opposite sex, and also make it make me impossible for me to even MEET the opposite sex.
My worst fear is coming true. I fear loneliness and now I know I will be lonely forever.
Sigh. Big Sigh.
Has anyone ever done something so horrible to you that "I'm sorry" couldn't fix it?
Yes. Everything my father has ever done to make my life a living hell, that is unforgivable and no amount of I'm Sorry will fix it. I don't want to get into it, but for him to call me an out of control teenager for 6 years when I clearly wasn't and then to aplogozie through EMAIL 2 years after the fact the day after my mother leaves him, no that is not an apology I accpet. I still don't know if I should thank my dad for being an ass to me my whole life, because if not for his mistreatment and lack of affection I would not have wanted to move out and move to Florida.
Also no amount of I'm Sorry from him will ever forgive when he came into my room with a trash bag and made me throw away MY things just because they related to Hawaii (I had an obession with moving to Hawaii and had bought all kinds of Hawaii memorable to remind me of my dream). Things I bought with MY money. He made me throw them all away and watch the trash bag get smashed with all the trash from my neighborhood in the garbage truck outside my house.
There is more to the things my father has done to me. I have learned now that he emotionally abused my mom, my brother, and I. He needs to live with what he has done. People that are lonely are lonely because they push people away. And thats what he did. He never appreciated me as a human being let alone a daughter. He was never a father figure to me.
I now know the kind of man I NEVER want to marry because of him. I am happier here in Florida without him around.
So yeah, it is too late for apologies.
Someone once told me that it is never too late for apologies though. That people end up happier when they can forgive. We dont have to forget what people have done to us, but sometimes it might be best to just let things go. Right now I do not thing I am ready to let the thing my father has done to me go. I am still emotionally hurt by the thing he has done and said to me throughout my life. So far nothing he has done has proved to me that he acknowledges what he did. He he an emotionless, cold hearted man.
Okay enough dwelling on the past.
....is so unclear and its bugging the crap out of me. Tomorrow I will be sitting down with the principal of the school I work at. The purpose is for her to enlighten me of the teaching position situation with my school district, find out if it is as bad as it sounds (with all the job cuts and budget cuts and school closings). I don't want to have to move. I like this area. To have to move further away from Tampa would sadden me. But everything happens for a reason, and maybe, just maybe, I will get to move to closer to Tampa. We shall soon find out.
Are you celebrating Cinco de Mayo?
I will not be celebrating Cinco de Mayo for two reasons. One, I cannot afford to go out and drink, and two, I have to work in the morning. Sorry. Maybe another time.
So it has been one year since I graduated from UWF and moved to Clearwater all alone. The one thing I moved down here for never happened (a teaching position). Here's what did happen in the last year:
*won a random free cruise to the Bahamas (haven't booked a date yet)
*went to a Cub's game at Wrigley with my brother and his friends
*got a VPK teaching position at a day care
*realized that day care center had unethical and unprofessional employees, so I quit
*went to the Fall Out Boy show (with Academy Is as an opener) I went to this concert alone.
*went to the Warped Tour in St. Pete, met the Starting Line and then stood front row to see their show (I went alone to this as well)
*went to see Goo Goo Dolls (with Lifehouse as opener) random radio tickets that were passed on to a bunch of people and some how I ended up with one
*went to Disney World for the first time ever
*Started my Passion Parties business
*met one new friend, Michael, aka "Hurray for Mae"
*got to sit in the VIP section for a Bucs pre-season game
*started substitute teaching as a way of getting my name out into the school district
*realized that I needed thicker skin to substitute, so I stopped after 3 days
*got accepted to USF's Early Childhood Education Master's program
*joined the crazy internet world of Justin.tv and made lots of random online friends including Sarah and Jon (it all started with iJustine and then Tom and Sebbe the hot, but messed up, Swedes)
*saw The Academy Is...and stayed all night in front of their tour bus to meet them
*took in a stray cat, now called Spooky, who we have all come to know and love
*took a random road trip to Tallahassee in the middle of the night to meet Jon and then drive to the other side of the state to go to Ft. Lauderdale.
*went to my first wedding as an adult (what I mean is, the first friends of mine to get married, not relatives or random friends of parents, ect.)
*went to Orlando to see All American Rejects play at Hard Rock Live and it was recorded for Pepsi Smash
*got to sit on Santa's lap at the mall for the first time ever and tell him what i wanted for christmas ( a job of course!)
*went tailgating before an NFL football game for the first time ever
*went to Chicago (back home) and never once visited my dad, but saw how happy my mom really is and partied with my brother for the first time ever.
*started seriously subbing as a way to get my name out in the school district.
*started my Master's Degree
*went to my first circus in Sarasota for my birthday
*took another random trip down to Miami to audition for the Real World (alone) and actually made it through the first round (and then met some random guys and ended up at a strip club-Miami style)
*Lindsey and Patrick moved in temporarily while they wait to purchase a house
*Ended up not having to sub anymore because I got a tutoring job at just one school for the rest of the school year.
*after all these years, finally got my summer dream job: summer camp counselor
**most of all I learned quite a bit about growing up, happiness, and appreciation, and I think these quotes sums up best what I have learned and now live by "THOSE WHO WAIT, APPRECIATE" and "WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER".
Well I guess a lot has changed in the last year, but I still am waiting on that wonderful male companion (boyfriend), the teaching position, along with the money to buy furniture for my empty pathetic apartment.
There is still hope I guess......
