In a pickle
So I feel like I am in a pickle. I am not sure what to do. I have always looked at the apartment I am living in now as a temporary living place and that once I got a job and figured out where I would be working, I would just move closer. Well since it has been way over a year and still no job, I am still stuck here. I really want to downgrade and move into a studio apartment which will be like 300 dollars cheaper a month, and I found a really good one right near where I live now, in Clearwater. Something tells me that if I get a job, it will be in St. Petersburg. Why should I move somewhere else in Clearwater, if I end up working in St. Petersburg? Buttt, what if I don't get a job? I think I am going to give it a month. If i don't find anything by August 20, then I will go ahead with plans to move to that studio in Clearwater and hopefully move in September 1. I am wasting so much money by having this apartment. I am definitely learning about life through some hard and not well-planned situations. I could go into a list of all the dumb mistakes I have made. But instead I will tell you that they are lessons learned. I want to start over in a smaller apartment and paying cheaper bills including rent and internet/phone/cable. Of course electricity and water will go down as well. However, I will still be far from USF and far from the "job" I have now, in St. Petersburg. Sometimes I wish I had a real friend to talk over my problems with. I am reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and I am learning the differences. The book is hard for me to read though because I am bitter and it's hard to read a book about love when you are bitter.
On another note, I am beginning to think that teaching is not the field for me. Yet another mistake...er...lesson. I say this because at every interview I go on, I end up looking incompetent. They ask me about classrooms I have never taught in because I am not a teacher. I have no experience in my own classroom. Life sure is a catch-22. No one will hire you because you don't have experience, but without a job you can't get any experience. Getting my Master's is a diversion until I really need to get a real job. But just thinking of all the hard work and MONEY! omg the money that went into getting my BA and eventually my M.Ed and then NOT being a teacher. That's a mistake right there. Something I will literally be paying for the rest of my life. I almost feel like I have to be a teacher now, because all the hardwork and money spent hasnt even be utilized.
I am considering speaking to a counselor at USF, since I don't have any real friends that are interested enough or care enough to help me with my life.
I am so screwed up.
Comments
A third-person opinion will most definitely help.
I have been through a lot of crap myself, and all i can say is that "this too shall pass".
Shannon, I can't go to have a simple lunch with you at Tijuana Flats without you complaining the ENTIRE time. I've pointed it out to you, but you don't listen. And you don't want to change it. It doesn't matter that you haven't gotten what you've wanted (a teaching job). You can't keep living like this and putting your friends though this. Just pick yourself up and move on.I listen to what you have to say now, but I don't SAY anything about it (which is prolly why you think I don't listen) because you don't take anything that I say anyway. I think the ONEEEEE time you actually took what I said, was when I suggested you wear a skirt to your interview instead of capris. I just wish you were the same Shannon I knew in college..who was always happy and looked at the bright side of things. I know you are reading this right now going "what bright side?" Am I right? Did you just think that? But there is almost ALWAYS a bright side.
Just think about what I said. If you want to delete this comment because you are mad and don't want anyone else to read it, go ahead. It won't hurt my feelings.